Richard Nichols

Deargod@mysterious.ways Richard Nichols

DearGod@Mysterious. WaysA life in transition, a book of the livingFrom: "Moses and the NRA"Anyway, Mr. Heston was standing at this podium and finished his speech with a Moses-like statement about his cold dead hands as he waved a rifle over his head. Made me somewhat concerned that if his hands WERE becoming cold and dead, he could end up braining himself with the rifle and knocking himself right off the stage. From: "Farting" So when did You first invent farts?Doesn't say anything in Genesis about themlike "And Adam awoke and farted mightily, looked around quickly and realized that there was no one there to comment, so he farted again, without shame, verily."From: "Droopy Drawers" Finally, an historical perspectivethe Cod Piece was invented in the 12th century A. D. when fishermen in the Netherlands, noticing that their shorts were becoming excessively baggy, began the practice of stuffing them with the prize catch of the day. Some say this was an effort to impress their womenfolk; at any rate, the practice was quickly curtailed when Rolf the Dimwit attempted to carry home three live horseshoe crabs.