Deni Iseli

Integrate as HSP with dissociation Deni Iseli

I never thought about integrating. As HSP, I think it's normal to adapt. I do that automatically. Because of my negative childhood, I am now aware that not everyone adapts easily. Through my negative childhood, I am now aware that I had adjusted myself to the limit to get the love and attention of my parents. My parents had contracted PTSD (Post -Traumatic Stress Disorder) during the second World War in Indonesia. They could not get along well. My father had the phobia for microbes. Within the family, there were strict rules of conduct. I had, above all, to keep my mouth shut. I was not allowed to express myself freely. The fact that narcissism and codependency prevailed in the family, created an unpleasant atmosphere. Because of those mental disorders, there was no normal mutual contact. The hierarchy was very clear. As HSP, I was an easy target of mutual (un)conscious influence and mutual (un)conscious manipulation. As HSS, I wanted to try and experience. That was noted, but not appreciated. I have my own way of thinking, which is not in line with the way my parents think. Through my therapy, I now know that everyone has his limits. My limits were never respected. I had exceeded my limits because I wanted the love and attention of my parents. By self-respect, I no longer seek love and attention from others. By self-respect, I no longer have to adjust to the limit. I now adjust myself automatically, within my own limits. I will never have problems adjusting.