Anthony Tell

Loving Paul Anthony Tell

friendship between Paul and Julius prevails. Paul, first as Saul, tries to satisfy God's law by behaving as the perfect religious person might behave. But then, as Paul, learns that however dedicated or disciplined that behavior may be, it is not man's behavior, but God's love that satisfies God's law. Julius saw that now Paul believes a dead man lives, but Julius knows that a dead man is just that: lifeless and dead. Even if not dead, but some kind of living ghost, Julius, seeing all that befalls Paul, believes that this dead man wants too much. Nonetheless Julius envies Paul because Paul feels deep faith, while all Julius believed was that first came death's barren rage, and then no noise, but silence and eternal sleep. Julius believed that death's triumph destroyed life, and if Julius had a deep faith, that faith felt that all death's triumph did was make worms the winners. Yet Paul did see this dead man, and so had undoubted proof. But Julius stayed doubtful. So what if the dead man is not dead? What does that mean? Was there more love? Was there less suffering? Was life less uncertain? Less vile and brief? And was death, joyless, cold and coming, any less sure? Paul's faith fit Paul, but not Julius, because Julius knew that life, dear life, or death, detestable death, always belied belief. Yet, who can say why faith takes hold? And who can say if having faith or not having faith was wrong or right?