Gerald Schoenewolf

An Ordinary Lunacy Gerald Schoenewolf

Virgil, an aspiring New York artist and desperate nerd, meets Lila, a beautiful visitor from Eastern Europe with a mysterious flaw. He bumbles his way to her heart, but is handicapped by his phobia of beautiful women, which causes him to have a "kissing reflex," a malady that compels him to hastily kiss and have sex with a beautiful woman in order to allay his neurotic fears of rejection. Despite his handicap he succeeds in getting Lila to bed, whereupon she turns out not to be as beautiful as he thought. His despair at seeing her "birth defect" mortifies him, which in turn offends Lila and causes her to run off to Paradise Island. He follows her there and attempts to humbly apologize, but he is rebuffed again. Finally, after yelling at his mother during her misbegotten visit to New York, Virgil calms down and reaches a point of "temporary sanity," whereby he is able to engage in more mature conversation with Lila and show her his caring and generous side by painting her bathroom metallic gold, magenta, and green. Somehow all ends happily in the end. This is a romantic comedy like Something About Mary.