Why Didn't Noah Swat Both Mosquitoes?

God made a few perfect heads, the rest he covered with hair.
Subject: Baldness

A certain church was taking a missionary offering. As the plate was passed to one dour-/aced man, he growled, ""I don't believe in missions."" The usher replied, ""Well, then take some out, brother, this offering is for the heathen.""
Subject: Offering

A congregation in Florida installed a sound system on a trial basis. One reaction: ""If I had wanted to hear, I would have moved up front.""
Subject: Hearing

Across one-half century of Hoover Rupert's ministry, humor has been a part of his preaching portfolio. This collection includes nearly 300 stories collected by the author that could be used by any preacher.

The stories are listed alphabetically by subject or theme. Themes range from religious to secular. A selection of topics includes: accidents, babies, Bible, complaints, church, Devil, ecumenical, faith, heaven, Jesus, music, offering, prayer, theology, viewpoint, words and others.

Hoover Rupert, Gaithersburg, Maryland, served United Methodist churches in Michigan. He is a graduate of Baker and Boston universities and holds four honorary doctorates. For 32 years he wrote a syndicated column ""Accent On Loving."" Rupert is the author of 17 books and many magazine and curriculum articles.