Martyn Benford

Doom Bar Days and Nights Martyn Benford

With a wealth of knowledge and 38 years of life experience now behind him, Maccy Tamryn takes his entrepreneurial skills to a new level when he becomes site manager of Lenny and Lavinia's peculiar new homestead. All the while: How do Maccy and Lenny inherit a duo of Christmas Angels? Is the vicar being led into temptation?




"Lenny wanted to get away early, he said, 'I'm on a promise.' I said, 'Don't count your bleddy chickens mate.' Guess what he said?"

"Just bleddy tell me, Maccy!"

"He said he doesn't have any."

"So I said, 'point and count at where they might be if you did have some.' The tosser did what I suggested, then he says, 'there's one of the buggers missing!"

I said, 'which one?'




"Maccy my luvver, where are you?"

"In the kitchen my little Texas Rose, having breakfast with Jill."

"Who's in the bog then, Brit?"

"The vicar, my love."

"Great. I just told him 'Pull your trousers up and get to bleddy work, you lazy shyster!"

"Why didn't you just say, 'get your arse in gear you skiving tosser?"

"I said that too, honey!"




"Lenny, once the paint is dry inside mate, you can start moving your stuff in."

"How will I know when it's bleddy dry, Maccy?"

"Just watch it until it isn't wet anymore."