Steven Primrose-Smith

How Not to Be a Unicorn Steven Primrose-Smith

Mothers just want their children to be happy. That's why, when five-year-old Gary says he wants to be a unicorn, his New Age mum does everything in her power to make it happen. One night, while he is sleeping, she superglues a horn to his head. His life will never be the same again. Follow the ups but mostly downs throughout forty years of Gary's unicorn life, as he struggles with his mum and her army of lovers, one sister who thinks she's a mermaid, another who's a personality-morphing nutjob and little brother, Mikey, a perpetually two-foot tall, fur-covered troll. Along the way are unicorn hunters, religious sects, rubbish superheros, crucifixions, duels, escaped lions, cannibals, immaculate conceptions and Nazis but mostly lots and lots of ridicule. Like Gary, you can be whatever you want to be, but be careful what you wish for.