Deni Iseli

Foreign as HSP with dissociation Deni Iseli

I have Dutch, Indonesian and Swiss ancestors. As HSP, I notice people's reactions to my Asian appearance, fair skin tone and my pronunciation with the rolling "r". That has never bothered me. I have only known about discrimination since we came to the Netherlands in 1962. But I have never associated people's behavior with discrimination. Humans live about 20% in a conscious way and about 80% in an unconscious way. The conscious and unconscious part influence each other, without people noticing. Due to the presence of the mental disorders PTSD, (open and hidden) narcissism, codependency, gaslighting (cunning manipulation technique of hidden narcissism) and TPS in the family I grew up in, I realize that people are not always aware of their own behavior. To a large extent, people respond automatically, also with regard to the appearance of others. They are the way they are. As HSS, I like to try out and experience, also in this respect. There are things in life that I can better accept as they are. I never felt like a foreign person. I have always just felt like a human being, like all other people, in our world of about 7 billion people.