Janice Penington

Layers: Surviving a Relationship Janice Penington

The title, Layers, suggests that a complexity exists in human nature. Therapists often refer to the therapy process as "peeling the onion". Although we may establish a sense of someone or form a first impression of them, the truth is that people are complicated and it requires time, numerous observations, and a variety of interactions to begin to grasp the "who" of who they are. Deep level understanding must unfold like a rose. You can not rush that natural process, either. Having said this, do not be shocked when someone you think you know fully, someone who you consider to be quite predictable, shows you some aspect of them selves that changes everything. It happens. So why risk entering and maintaining relationships at all? The answer is basic, really. We were not each given our own little island. We connect, bond, and care for one another because it as important as breathing. We forgive much in love, yet some things are intolerable, unacceptable, and yes, unforgivable, such as Abuse. Jen's story is a classic tale of the process of peeling that onion, leading to the core, and the discovery of a sickness so great, that the only response possible was to escape. An intelligent woman, a professional therapist, herself, was still conned, as she could only see the "outer" layers for far too long. The "how and the why" are explored in depth; the recognition and awareness revealed; and the strategies and skills to survive are explained, in a common sense manner. Self-care techniques; the Boundary setting process; and Assertive communication skills are offered to the reader, both in Jen's story and in the educational component of the text. Let the honesty, humor, and compassion guide you through the process toward understanding. Remember Who you are!